Embarrassing Questions Kids Ask!

Do you ever find yourself minding your own business, when all of a sudden..."mommmmyy?". You turn to look at your adorable little 4 year old boy and answer him promptly with a "yes hunny?". And then it happens... "Why does my pee pee get big when I touch it?". Oh no! You scramble to see if your husband is around and much to your dismay, he's not! You start to panic because you have to make your answer age appropriate but your not sure how! This is where I come in, you see, I have 3 boys and a little girl. I have been in these situations before and I have to tell you, it sucks! You want to laugh and cry all at the same time because , let's be honest, the kids always ask at the wrong times. I mean is there really a right time for your child to ask such questions?! My answer to this, is not at all (Yes, I am being sarcastic!) . I mean who wants to tell a 4 year old child that the reason his "pee pee" is getting bigger because of ::earmuffs::. Of course we are here to teach our children, how else would they learn life's valuable lesions. I am going to list questions with two separate answers, you can choose which one you would like to tell your child. These answers will be geared towards the ages of 2 and 8 (or 31). Just remember that laughter is the best gift in the world!

Q: Mommy why do you have all that hair right there?

A #1: All boys and girls get hair in these areas when they get older. It means they are adults or becoming adults.

A #2: It's not hair, it's a furry towel mommy put there to cover up my no no parts.

Q:How come you don't have a pee pee like me?

A #1: Because boys and girls are different in these areas, it's part of who we are.

A #2: Because men need something to chase after that's smarter than them!

Q: Why is daddy's pee pee bigger than mine?

A #1: Because daddy is a grown up.

A #2: Trust me kid, it's not that much bigger...

Q: Mommy, why were you screaming last night? Did you have a bad dream?

A #1: Yes, yes I did.

A #2: Yes, yes I did. :)

Q: Mommy why do you have hair right there?

A #1: It's to keep the boys away.

A #2: It's a road block for daddy.

Q: How come I don't have hanging things on my chest?

A #1: Because you don't have any babies. Mommy's need them to feed the babies.

A #2: Hanging?! What?! It's time for a better bra!

Q: Why do daddies have to work all the time?

A #1: Because they have to make money so you can have all of your toys.

A #2: Because they whine if they have to do too much stuff around the house.

Q: Mommy, how come Santa didn't bring me the dolly I wanted?

A #1: Santa has a lot of children to make toys for and sometimes he picks what he thinks would be your favorite and gives you that.

A #2: Because the president ruined ever being financially stable for the middle class working American!

So when you find yourself not knowing what to say to that little darling that has just asked you a horrific question, ask yourself, "What would Colleen say?!". Well I hope you had a good laugh because I know I did writing them. Feel free to ask me any questions and hopfully I can help, er not help... lol  Thanks for reading and stay tuned for the next hub of these crazy questions.